The saddest question popped into my head this morning as I dropped the kids off for school. “How did we get here?”.
I spent all morning herding little mad people as they dragged their feet. I was beyond frazzled and after I dropped them off, I realized there were a lot of things I didn’t know at that moment. I didn’t know if Paige brushed her teeth. I didn’t know if Landon had on a dirty shirt. I didn’t know if Aubrey had enough money for lunch. I didn’t know if Emma had remembered her yearbook.
The only thing I realized I DID know was that my kids were growing up and I have no earthly idea how we got here.
You see, today was their last day. The last day of 8th grade. The last day of 3rd grade, the last day of 2nd grade. And, saddest of all for me, the last day of Kindergarten. Every other year, I’ve been so happy to see that last day of school.
But not this year.
This year was oddly bittersweet for me. I think it’s a mixture of emotions from a 14 yr old moving on to high school next year and coming to the realization that my Kindergarten years are over. Over. Never again will I experience that FIRST day of school feeling that all parents get. Never. It’s so final. And for me, it’s here.
I try every day to really pay attention to my kids because one of my biggest fears is regret. But it’s hard. And even though I try, I already have regrets. I regret that time marches on so swiftly and before you know it, the school year is done. I regret those first 5 years with your child fly by in the blink of an eye and then it’s time for them to leave you.
I saw all the pictures my friends posted of their kids on the last day of school. They all looked so happy. And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy we survived the year. I’m happy we are moving on to the next grade. And I’m happy my children did well in school. I’m just not very happy they grow up so fast.
So you know when I said that I wondered “How did we get here?”.
I still can’t figure it out.